Debbie Downers

Erin

I’m 41. I’m ttc with my first baby and I am so happy! I talk to my Mom about having a baby and how excited I am to get pregnant and have my own baby, finally. My Mother yesterday told me I need to stop with the baby talk because I could be setting myself up for heartbreak. I understand that I may not be able to get pregnant, I understand that I could miscarry, I understand that my baby could be born severely handicapped. I UNDERSTAND that my baby could die. I understand that I could die in birth and I understand that the baby and I could both die in birth. But can’t I be excited, can’t I be happy thinking about the fact that I could have my own baby, my own little tiny human to love? Does this happen to anyone else? I want my moment like all my friends had years ago. I want to keep being positive but she makes it so hard sometimes. I just needed to vent. Anyone else have this happen? Love and Baby Dust to you all!

187 views • 3 upvotes • 6 comments

COMMENT (6)

Si

Posted at
I’m 40 and having my first baby. We were lucky that everyone around us has been incredibly supportive and especially now I’m pregnant. I however am still taking a very cautious approach and until my baby is safely in my arms I will always be slightly reserved about getting too excited. I think if your mum isn’t being supportive then perhaps you need to find someone else to talk to about ttc unless you can gently say to her that you understand the risks but would appreciate her support anyway. I wish you every success with your journey!

Si

Sian • Jan 5, 2021
Hmm then I think you just have to do what is best for you and your family, I’m sure your mum will come around when it becomes a reality! I guess she worries about your health and well being so hopefully all will go well for you and she will be able to relax.

Er

Erin • Jan 5, 2021
Good luck with your little one! I did tell my Mom that I understand the risks, but Mary Jo hears what Mary Jo wants to hear. My husband and I discuss this regularly and my shrink and I discuss it regularly.

Je

Posted at
I had my 1st at 40, my 2nd at 41, and my 3rd at 45 (7 months pregnant now). I'm fortunate that I did not need any interventions to get pregnant and all of them are healthy. There are all sorts of additional risks when you are older but there are also a lot of success stories. Let your mom know that you aren't unrealistic but need to focus on the positive. If that doesn't work, just let her know that you simply won't be talking to her about it because realistically getting pregnant is emotional at the best of times and you need positive support. Good luck to you!

Re

Posted at
I know exactly what you mean. 41 is still a good age to get pregnant. I’ve just had my first at 39. People in my family have made me feel really old and we’re not. I had to do IVF due to male factor infertility. I keep being reminded about my age and how I feel tired as I’m 39 even if I’ve only had two hours sleep due to breastfeeding, nappy changing, bottle feeding and cleaning up wee! I say do not lose sight on what you want. Good luck

Er

Erin • Jan 10, 2021
Thank you so much. I still feel young and I’ve lost a lot of weight, so I feel even better! I know I can do this and there is no reason why I can’t have my baby!