PLEASE HELP ME :(

Please do not judge this I am seeking help and I need to know what I should do. 
I have a reoccurring infectious disease (potentially fatal) called C. Diff I have been hospitalized 3 times in the last month because of it. Fever, sever diarrhea, loss of appetite, tachycardia etc.... Severe anxiety and depression because of it and I am on a class D medication. I had to have X-rays and long story short sucks and I am dealing with a lot right now. 
This is my 5th time with this infection. My doctor is telling me either I get the fecal transplant or I die.. The antibiotics used to treat the illness are not working for me anymore.. I relapse every time I stop treatment.. They cannot keep me on the medication.. Therefore it will happen again once I am off. 
I am in tears just thinking about this sick and horrible situation.. I don't know what to do.. My option is abort baby who they say is suffering and have fecal transplant.. Which is SO AGAINST EVERYTHING I BELIEVE.. Or try to live as long as I can with strong chance of us both dying anyways.
I really could use some advice based on Medical and not religious beliefs because I am trapped right now.. Heart broken.. Confused.. Lost.. So so depressed. I want my baby more than anything.. But I also do not want to hurt both of us more by being selfish and continuing. 
Thanks for reading :(
This is my rainbow.. MC April of this year and I've made it almost 3 weeks further than last time 💔💔💔