I've been in this position for months for over a year, and when everyone has gotten there baby to sleep on their own. They no longer have to do this. I hope that when I complain about the things that I do. I'm not just complaining to complain. I think this phase will pass. I had Harlow sleep trained for 1 whole month before she hospitalized in February, and was staying in cage like cribs for a week. I was proud, "I did it" " I would have some time to myself, I could stay up till midnight and when I had to wake up at 6 am, it was fine, I still got sleep". She's never been the same after that, those days in the hospital. Jenny Harper who told me endlessly that I would have to suck it up and just sit outside her door while she screamed and cried. No one believing me that she vomits when she cries to hard and this is why I could sleep train after that.the backseat of my Kia is proof that Harlow vomits when she cries to hard. All the piles of vomit that I've cleaned up some 3 to 4 piles a day. When trying to get her to nap. For 20 months, I have been using up almost two hours of my night before she sleeps just to get her to sleep, and every hour until she wakes up at 430 5 am. I spend in this position in that chair. Working 40 hours a weeks and staying up all night. I've had suicidal thoughts from REAL sleep deprivation. I don't complain because I hate my life, I do get upset, I'm tired, beyond tired. I don't know what using the bathroom alone feels like. When I make my coffee in the morning she's at my feet screaming for it. Please don't judge me. Please don't judge me as a bad parent cause I'm tired. I'm really tired. I know it will pass.

My 20 month old daughter, doesn’t slee. Ever. Sleep raining never worked