I just need prayer. I’ve been under so much stress all of 2020 and I’m so thankful that my baby girl made it safely into the world 3 months ago, but nothing has really changed emotionally or mentally for me since she was born. I’m not trying to say it was going to or I expected it to, but that’s my reality. I’m on medicine, but that can only help so much, and I’m going to talk to a therapist soon.

I broke up with her dad today. He says I need to gain control over my emotions, but he hasn’t done anything to help with it. I’m not saying it’s his responsibility, but I’ve gone through so much this year already and I can’t take it anymore. The other night was the last I could take when it came to him because I asked if he could keep the baby for me so I wouldn’t have to bring her back out to his house so early on my way to work. His excuse was he needed to patch his tire and when I took her home to my dad’s and went back out to go get dirty clothes from my ma’s, he was driving back towards his house. I got behind him and he turned to go to his cousin’s, apparently because the person who was supposed to patch his tire wasn’t home. Then he called me and asked me if I could go pick up food for them. I said no, but that really pissed me off. He didn’t and still doesn’t see the issue that I had with that. He told me I could’ve brought her back when I realized he wasn’t getting his tire patched. There are so many other things. I just don’t want to end up back in the same place I was when I broke up with my ex. I told him I want to take time to work on myself alone because I can’t seem to do it with so much negativity surrounding me. I show my emotions too much and he barely shows any. He talks about is putting our pride to the side, but he has so much 😢😢... I just feel like I lose myself more and more everyday 😢