Now i have been having sex with a girl who I love I truly do but I sometimes talk dirty to guys instead of her

She’s my first everything but I haven’t allowed her to give me head or anything it’s not being I’m not sexually attracted to her because I am it’s just I’m not experienced in that especially with a girl

And sometimes I deny my sexuality because I don’t know what’s wrong with me like I can have sex with guys because it’s a like things I’ve done before but I wouldn’t give my emotions to a guy nor being in a relationship either but I would give my all to a girl and just have sex with guys to just get off

And I don’t know what to do , like is there something wrong with me why do I keep lying to myself about being bi is it because I haven’t accepted it in full yet or what