Before my husband and I got married he knew I wanted 3-4 kids. I have a daughter (11) from someone else and my husband and I have a son (4). At some point we were ok with having only 2. And my heart just feels like it’s missing a piece. Husband still didn’t want another. Then when I wanted my birth control out (took it out in October 2020 to get my body back to normal (hopefully). We were also talking about getting fixed, he had an appointment set up and everything, then covid happened and his brother passed away the same week as the appointment and he never rescheduled it. Then I said hey let me do it. Had my appointment and they were just going to remove my tubes completely. Told husband about that and he completely changed his mind and said don’t do it in case “we” change our minds down the road. I never changed my mind it’s all him. I told him I don’t want to get pregnant when I’m 40, I’m 31 and he is turning 33 this week. He just doesn’t seem to understand that there could be complications at that age. Then before Christmas he said if you get pregnant before New Years then it’s meant to be, if not then it’s not. 🤷‍♀️ (Periods have always been irregular & being on birth control for 9 years and replaced every 3. I don’t have periods). When I try to bring it up which at first was a lot and now I barely bring it up he says I’m being pushy. I brought it up last night and all he says is I don’t know. I can feel my heart break (if that makes sense) I feel like he’s playing games and just getting my hopes up on maybe having another one. I am to the point where I am wanting to go and get my tubes removed and not tell him until after. If he’d want another one I will be fine, yes it will suck and my feelings will be hurt but it’s better then feeling like I’m being dragged around.

But that’s all. I just needed to vent since he won’t really listen and my best friend is probably tired of hearing about it.