Will you consider termination if your baby has severe genetic defects ?

Question

I feel bad for even considering this.  I’ve never had the nipt before (3 kiddos born when I was 18, 20, and 34, currently 36) but I’m opting for it this time.  I was out in the charts as being “advanced maternal age” and it really got my brain going.  I was laying in bed last night thinking, being my age, how I don’t think I could care for a child with extreme special needs and how I don’t know who would care for them after I’m gone.  By the time this baby graduates from high school, I’ll be 55.  My mom was a grandma 6times over already at that age and definitely couldn’t handle teens anymore muchless one with heavy special needs.  She was dealing with knee replacements and hysterectomies at that age.  She was dealing with menopause and super impatient.  
Maybe these anxieties will pass but I honestly don’t know what choice I’d make with this at this stage of my life.  I want this baby, but I’m not confident I could care for a special needs child with severe genetic issues 😭

Answer

My husband and I discussed it while pregnant with my now 20 month old son.  I was 38 and him 38 as well so we were higher risk for genetic issues or Down syndrome. We decided that no matter what the tests said we were ok. (We had previous children as well) The tests did come back negative. And as of 3 days ago he had been diagnosed with autism and is non verbal.  But we love him and treasure each moment with him reguardless.

Answer

I had 2 kids after age 35, as did several of my friends. No issues. Yes the statistics go up, but you still have like a 99.925% chance of everything being fine. And a vast majority of the very severe abnormalities, the fetus will micarry on its own. I'm just pointing this out because sitting down and seriously contemplating this can consume your energy very unnecessarily.

Answer

It’s a very hard question to answer until you are actually in that position. My daughter was diagnosed with a very severe heart defect at my 20 week ultrasound. They did an amino becseir it can be linked to severe chromosomal problems. I had to do a lot of soul searching while waiting the 10 days for results and decided if she had a severe chromosomal problem that would allow her little to no quality of life, I would terminate. This was a very personal decision because I myself thought making her suffer would only be so I felt better and didn’t want to feel the loss. Thank god she has no chromosomal issues but she has had 3 open heart surgeries in her 4 years of life that has changed everything. But, she is worth it for sure

Answer

I'm 36 too and pregnant with my 5th , don't feel bad. I couldn't bring a disabled child into my family as it would affect the kids I have too much so that's my reasoning. Everyone knows what they can and can't live with and that's ok

Answer

I would not be able to either.
Primarily because , if the child is entirely dependent on me to take care of him/ her, what happens god forbid something happens to me ! Who will take care of my child!

Answer

With our first child we had the NIPT and had discussed what we would do if the results showed abnormalities. Results were fine. The nipt results of our second pregnancy put us in the position of having to make a heartbreaking decision (heartbreaking either way). I don’t think you can know for certain what you will do until you have the reality right in front of you.

Answer

My husband and I discussed this prior to the NIPT and felt the same way. I think it would depend on what the issue was, and how much it would affect quality of life for us and our baby. With some problems the life expectancy isn't very good and I wouldn't have wanted to put us or our child through anything like that. ❤️

Answer

1. I would cross that bridge if you were to get there. Going down the "what if" rabbit hole may drive you crazy.
2. I have never been in this position, but during my pregnancy around testing time I had reconciled in my mind what I would do. What I would do is different than what another mom may do as we all have different situations in life, also what I would do right now could change in 3 or 4 years, but for now I could only see myself terminating a pregnancy that is not viable or one where the baby won't survive long.  The hard part for me is drawing the line of what survival rate is too low...I moved those thoughts to a "cross that bridge if it comes" category however because researching different conditions and survival rates is a dark rabbit hole to jump down.

Answer

Before our genetic testing the high risk clinic went over everything they were screening for and some of the conditions would be “incompatible with life” as they put it. In that case I would consider termination because I don’t know if I could continue pregnancy for months knowing the baby would pass shortly after birth indefinitely and may suffer. If the condition found was anything they could live with like Downs I wouldn’t terminate. They could still live a very happy productive life. It all just depends on what condition was found and the severity. Definitely couldn’t bring them into a world of suffering.

Answer

No, 100%.. I’m going to be 36 when I have my first, did the nipt just to find out the gender early- everything was low risk and anatomy scan was normal.
You have to do what feels right for you, but I wouldn’t for moral and religious reasons personally. Wouldn’t want the guilt either..
But honestly, I wouldn’t be worrying about any of it until something actually comes up high risk and make your decision then.

Will you consider termination if your baby has severe genetic defects ?

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