My husband can’t be around his mother without fighting with her. He loves her, but their personalities just aren’t compatible anymore. I know that she’s having problems with dementia. It’s in the beginning stages, but getting worse, and I don’t think either of them recognize that’s what the problem is. I’ve seen it through my job so I guess I recognize it faster than other people.

Anyway, our daughter’s 2nd birthday is coming up at the end of March. She didn’t get to have a 1st birthday party because our state told everyone to stay home the weekend her party was planned for.

This year I really want to do something special for her birthday because she hasn’t really even met most of her family. The only people she sees are me, my husband, and the sitter. She’s been completely isolated almost her whole life and I feel like it isn’t good for her. Yes, I know that having even a very small get together for her birthday would be a Covid risk, but we also plan on getting the vaccine since we both have to work with the public anyway.

I was thinking of having maybe 4 or 5 people over for an outside party that would last about an hour. That’s plenty long enough for a 2 year old. Here’s the thing, I don’t want my mother in law to come. I don’t dislike her. I just don’t want her and my husband fighting the whole time. We had her over for Christmas because we didn’t want her to be alone for it, but they fought the entire time she was here. It just completely ruined it for all of us. I just don’t want our daughter’s birthday ruined the same way. I just know if she finds out that we did something and didn’t invite her, and she will find out because she always does, that it will cause more problems. And I don’t want to come off as a raving witch to my husband by saying “Your mom isn’t invited.”

How should I bring this up? I’m really considering not doing anything just because I don’t want the drama.