I tend to overthink and have bad anxiety. I can also go from being an overly sensitive person who takes everything the wrong way or I can be stone cold and not care about anything.

Right now I’m overly sensitive and have anxiety. I’ve been over thinking for days now and I can’t tell if my bf is emotionally manipulating me or not.

With backhanded compliments that I can’t tell if he meant to be backhanded or not. Ik lots of stuff he says comes out the wrong way or it’s miscommunication. But sometimes I wonder if he does it on purpose here and there.

Not to say he isn’t a nice person because he is. But he’s definitely not the nicest. He comes from lots of insecurities so it makes him a judgmental , always comparing ppl, etc. he cares too much about what ppl think which Ik I do too. But his is a step further and he wants to change that.

Idk. Once I leave to go home (sorta long distance relationship) I always focus on the negative. Like this weekend he made to mean comments to me that he apologized for. One comment he kinda said (in other words) that I’m gorgeous but sometimes I come up to him and really kill it and he doesn’t know what I do different but I should do it more often. Now he was high. But does that not sound like he was saying I need to try harder to be more attractive ? Because he referenced one night months ago.. nothing recent. Idk.

The other was just an asshole comment that I’m still annoyed about. But then the positives I forget or brush off (again because he was high and I don’t listen to ppl unless they’re sober) was he asked if I’d marry him or he couldn’t wait for me to move in in the summer. But he was high so i can’t take that serious. And he says I’m gorgeous all the time but I can tell he is just saying it because he thinks he needs to. Like based on the other comment about my looks Ik now how he really sees me.

Or should I let that negative comment about my looks slide as well because he was high then? Idk. Ik drunk words or sober thoughts but what is this saying for sober high? I don’t smoke.

Ik he says when he’s high all his feelings get even stronger so if he’s sad and smoke he becomes extremely depressed. If he’s happy or in a lovey mood then smokes it grows 10x stronger.

Idk I’ve just been going around in circles with this.

At the end of the day I’ve known from the beginning it seems like he’s been trying to change me. Not my personality because he says he likes that abs so far no actions have gone against those compliments. But he’s tried changing my appearance. Working out, eating healthier, suggested new piercings and tats and he got me a vanity for Xmas to practice makeup.

Am I just reading into this too much??? Or am I finally not ignoring red flags ?? Idfk guys.

*also I don’t want to sound ungrateful to any compliments he gives or the vanity he gave me. It’s just if someone gives he five compliments on your appearance and says one negative one on your appearance. It kinda cancels out the positive compliments right? *