Frustrated 😩

I’m 37 and TTC for a year now. Two years ago I had a spontaneous pregnancy that ended up in an ectopic pregnancy with my right fallopian tube busted. After healing physically and mentally, we decided we were not getting any younger and that’s when we started trying for the first time. After six months TTC I went to the OB Gyn and he ordered an HSG to rule out anything wrong with the remaining tube. After that he said that everything was ok and that it was just a matter of time. So additional six months went by and I visited a fertility doctor. She discovered in the same HSG that even though my tube is not obstructed is being “hold” by something, and is not located exactly next to the ovary, and in addition that this month I’m ovulating from my right side (where the ectopic happened).

My husband and I are doing long distance for now (we’re kind of deciding where are we settling) and is extremely difficult to jump on a plane every month to try and get pregnant. Romance at this point is out the door, and being intimate lately feels like a job. The stress this is putting on us is getting on our nerves, and I don’t know how much more of this situation we can take, without causing major issues between us.

Not to mention the fertility doctor offered a bunch of options that were way out of our budget.

I don’t have friends to talk about this and I’m feeling lonely and hopeless.

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COMMENT (6)

Da

Posted at
So sorry to hear you're going through this.I'm in a similar situation. I'm also 37, about to turn 38.I've had one pregnancy in about 4.5 which sadly ended in miscarriage.I've done all the basic fertility tests and an HSG and my husband has done the SA. Nothing is wrong.It's been 9 months of trying since the miscarriage.I just saw a fertility specialist this week.He did a pap and an ultrasound to check my follicles and lining. Everything is normal. So my "secondary" infertility is currently unexplained. He said something which I really wanted to hear which was that there is no unexplained infertility, only undiagnosed.I was hoping and expecting he'd send me for a battery of tests to try to find what the issues is. He did, and omg they are unbelievably expensive blood tests.He said there is a test for anti-thrombin III or something which has less than 2% likelihood of someone having it and is often only tested for after multiple miscarriages, and is the most expensive of the tests, but said it's worth checking for at my age to possibly prevent another miscarriage.There are so many possibilities.He said at my age, he would only recommend assisted fertility now although all seems to be on track.I'm currently not ready to do that. He told my husband he can make babies until he is 80, but for women it rapidly declines after 35.I'm so screwed. Hopefully I'll do the tests soon, and maybe get some answers.Hope sharing my long and crappy situation can help a little. Fingers crossed for all of us.

Ev

Posted at
I’m so sorry. That is a lot to go through. It’s really hard to find people to talk to, so honestly strangers in these chat groups keep me sane. The fertility road is a long one, I really get it.

R

Posted at
The first year of infertility was the hardest for our marriage. Sex on a schedule was really hard. Maybe you can use this time apart to save as much money as possible...maybe even get a second job since you can’t spend time together. You will need to have a lot of conversations about options and what you are willing to do.

Ra

Posted at
I’m so sorry to hear this! Covid definitely doesn’t make TTC easy... our mental health is all over the place, date nights don’t exist (at least for us),

Ra

Ravhel • Jan 21, 2021
My phone is acting up and sent the message early! But just saying you aren’t alone!!!

Ke

Posted at
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. You have a group of virtual friends (us) you can vent to anything.I know it’s frustrating. I would say try a couple more months- you’re finding out so much helpful information to help you conceive!!!Baby dust!! ✨✨✨✨