Since pulling my daughter out of daycare due to COVID, she has been going to my moms house twice a week so I can get some work done and she gets some one on one time with Grandma. My mom would always rather be with her without me there so this was a good way for them to hang out without me rushing around on weekends or after work.

My mom is 72 and rarely goes out or drives. We gave her a car seat in case of an emergency or in the event she wanted to take my daughter somewhere. My mom complained that she doesn’t understand the car seat, hates driving etc.

Recently she drove my daughter to pick up my brother and drop him off at the dealership to get his car. No problem. We were surprised but totally fine with it. We asked her to just give us a heads up if she goes anywhere. (Text, call etc)

She was totally offended and defensive saying that she takes better care of her than us and that she’s safer with her. We assured her that no one is questioning that. She was angry saying that she doesn’t need our permission to take her granddaughter anywhere and she doesn’t have time to wait for me to answer the phone. We assured her again, it’s not asking permission to just send a text so we know where they are if something happens.

We asked as a courtesy to let us know and she started in with “so you think I’m not a courteous person” and she said that she’s not a babysitter she’s her grandmother and doesn’t need to tell us anything.

I’m just beside myself! My husband and I always text each other to let each other know where we will be. It takes 1 minute! If my husband is at work and I take my daughter to the store, I text him to let him know.

Am I missing something here? Were we out of line? Very frustrated and angry. Thanks for your thoughts and advice.