Boyfriend doesn’t come to doctor appointments?

Question

I am currently 14 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend will not come to any appointment and acts like he could care less. It scares me because I feel like he won’t be there while I’m in labor and he is the only one that I would want in there. I’m not close to anyone in my family. I sent him a long paragraph explaining why I want him there and all he said was have a good day. we lost our baby at 9 weeks last year. I have been terrified at every appointment because I’m scared something is going to be wrong.

Answer

It seems like to me that he is either not ready mentally for a kid or he doesn’t care for you the way you do. Your man should be uplifting and be a positive support system for you. I would try to have a serious talk with him about what’s going on and see how he responds. If he deeply loves and cares for you he shouldn’t be acting like that. I’m sorry hun. I hope things get easier for you🥺

Answer

I wasn't aware that any hospital allowed for more than the patient. 
Even without covid restrictions, regular ob appts aren't that big of a deal unless you're high risk. All he's going to be doing is listen to you and Dr talk for ~10minutes 🤷

Answer

I wouldn’t be mad about him not going because a lot of dads don’t go because of work but he’s response shows he’s not wanting to go and doesn’t care what u say . Does he even want to be in a relationship

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I would talk to him and just be honest that you’re also scared since your loss and if you’d have his support for the good, or bad, it’s mean a lot. I would just be super straight up. Chances our he’s just afraid to get excited since your loss (which i am so, so sorry about).

Answer

Is he even allowed? Where I am we have to go by ourselves. I don’t think going to the appointments really means anything

Answer

As of right now he’s probably not allowed at any of the appointments anyways, aside from ultrasounds and that would depend on your doctor’s protocol. However I can see your concern, and I think it could mean a few different things. He could also be scared of losing the pregnancy so he might feel that if he keeps his distance and doesn’t get too involved right now, it won’t affect him so much if there were to be another loss. Or it could simply be that he’s not invested in the child at least as of yet and honestly doesn’t care. Were you trying for this pregnancy, it was it unplanned? If unplanned, he also may still just be processing and need time to come around.
Texting isn’t going to help though - anything serious you should always try to talk about in person. Try to control your own emotions as lashing out at him might just cause him to shut down (which kind of seems like that’s what happened when you send him a giant emotional paragraph). 
It’s not uncommon for people to have mixed emotions about finding out they’re going to be a parent. We went through a rough time early in my pregnancy, and finally he admitted that he was stressing about everything, like finances, thinking he wasn’t going to be a good dad, etc. Be patient now and encourage him to talk to you, give him time to come around, and if he doesn’t then you can have a talk with him later.

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My babies dad did the same thing and he dipped...jus sayin

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Not going to appointments isn’t a big deal because of Covid restrictions or work but acting like he doesn’t care is concerning. I hope you can have an open conversation in person about it and get to an understanding where you both understand how each other is feeling.

Answer

We aren’t allowed to have our significant others in the room unless it’s the anatomy scan.. other then that, doctors visits im alone in. Not sure your guys situation but my fiancé has a kid through another female prior to me and she did the most and it took a toll on him, so he hasn’t been the most supportive like youd think but he’s coming around. Praying yours does the same 🙏🏼

Answer

You should be honest with him about your feelings amd worries but also understand that alot of times pregnancy isn't real for men until the babys born. When I was pregnant my boyfriend acted like he couldn't care less too no doctors appointments never touched my belly nothing I was terrified of feeling alone in labor or him being an absentee dad. I worried and worried until I was physically ill. But once I was in labor it finally hit him that it was real. We were really having a baby. He was fantastic during my labor and is now an amazing father. This obviously isn't the case for everyone just try to be understanding of the fact its hard for him to wrap his brain around something that he isn't experiencing first hand.

Boyfriend doesn’t come to doctor appointments?

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