So me & my child’s father were together for about 2-3 years I was 16 & he was 22.. I know & I got pregnant when I was 17 we were such in a rocky situation & he would talk bad about me & my family, he caused me so much stress so I ended up keeping my pregnancy a secret and broke up with him.. later 3 months after my baby was born I ended up meeting up with him & telling him about her because I felt like maybe he deserved to know & I wanted him not to miss out on her childhood ( thought I was doing the right thing ) & now my daughter is 8 months & we have been off & on as far as our relationship.. sometimes I absolutely hate him, he tells me how all my daughter needs me for is breast milk, he tells me how it’s sad I’m still living with my mom, how I don’t know my daughter needs, he tells me that he lets her stay with me.. like how dare he say that to me but then he says he’s just mad & he tries to push me away but he knows he can’t do that because he loves me and just wants his family together.. I love him but I don’t think being together is it for us, I wish we could just co parent & move on but it’s kind of hard to let go after so many years and shit we been through.. just 2 weeks ago I blocked him because we got into an huge argument & we both agreed to move on and let it be but then we ended up talking and trying it again.. now we’re “ together “ but I honestly don’t want to be but it’s just hard.. I wish we could just be a happy family but all the bs we went through I just can’t look past it especially with a baby involved.. he disrespects me & I can’t.. I wish I never had a baby by him.. sometimes I just want to move & change my number so that way he can’t do anything.. his name isn’t on the birth certificate & if he can’t find me there’s nothing he can do.. he is just so toxic he smokes and drinks, he just got a place with his mom and sister.. any advice ?? I really don’t want to go to court for custody because she doesn’t like him she’s not comfortable with him which isn’t my fault it’s COVID & he’s already had it once before so I get paranoid with him seeing her.. but he is always blaming me.. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️