Lately I’ve been seriously debating whether or not I want to continue working full time or if I’d like to stay at home and maybe work part time instead. Ideally I think I would like to work and send my son to daycare 2-3 days and be home with him the rest of the week. That way he still gets the social interactions he needs to develop and learn and I get to spend more time with him and watch him grow.

This past November my husband and I lost our second son 23 weeks into the pregnancy. We are both still heart broken and I’m working through my grief and depression as best I can. I’ve been back to work for 4 weeks and I can’t help noticing my lack of motivation. I remember after I had my 19 month old son I felt a similar loss in passion, though after this devastating loss it is obviously more apparent.

My husband makes a very good wage and I am fortunate enough to have the option to stop working full time and be with my son. We are planning to start trying for our rainbow baby next month and I know this pregnancy is going to stress me out and I’ll be paranoid the whole time given how my last pregnancy ended.

I’ve always been motivated and committed to working hard and pushing myself to excel in my career path. I have a bachelors and a masters and am finally working as a process engineer, which I had been striving toward for the past 3-5 years. I also make pretty decent money, which I’ve been proud of, and I worry that I may think less of myself once I give that up. If I quit I’ll most likely be sacrificing any future I had in engineering because I’m not as experienced as most engineers and I took a non-traditional path to get here. Right now I’m okay with this choice, but I worry that I’ll regret it 5+ years from now.

Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. I’m seriously leaning toward working part time and focusing on my family and children, because you can’t get this time back. I’m also unsure when the best time would be to quit - after I give birth, early in the pregnancy, etc. Any thoughts or has anyone done something like this before?