I’m only 20. I feel so stupid because I knowingly put myself in this situation and now I’m being forced to be a mother. I have a good life, I’m single, with my own place and car that I just got last year recently — and now I’m about to change my life forever with a baby. A part of me really wants to die.

I have money to raise a baby but now I’m soooo stressed. I want more time

To myself, I wanted to drink legally for the first time on my 21sf birthday and now I’m being robbed of that.

My period is a week late and I’ve been having one sided cramps and dull aches in my breast. I usually get really bad PMS symptoms, and my cycles are regular and I have no preexisting conditions like endometriosis or PCOS SO THEY come on the same day each month. I had sex 3 times this month and now I’m pregnant. the thing is, I hate condoms and I’m allergic to latex, I’m not on birth control anymore after it had messed up my weight. I don’t want to take a plan b, get an abortion or give my baby up for adoption if I am pregnant — but I’m so scared of raising a child, I’m so scared of dying during child birth, I’m so scared of ruining my health and body because I’m already a curvy girl. I just wanted more time to be selfish. I’m waiting until the 15th to take a test so I won’t get a false negative. I’ve gotten an abortion before and to this day I still feel bad about it even though I know it wasn’t going to work — but now, I’m faced with the reality of being a mother and I just want to disappear.