I'm married with two children. My first was not planned, in fact he was concieved while I was actively avoiding getting pregnant. However from the moment I got a positive, he was loved and wanted. When he was one I decided I got really bad baby fever, so we had another baby, loved and wanted from the first moment. After my second was born my husband has been begging for more children. I have told him I'm unsure as I've struggled with pregancy complications, suxh as pre-eclampsia and HG both times, to the point of being hospitalised. Pregnancy has been really rough for me both times.

The whole fall I've been feeling tired and depressed and I decided two children are just what I can handle. I'm a stay at home mom. We have been using condoms, as I can't use hormonal birth control. I'm very scared of getting an IUD, but I decided it was probably best if I got one, but before I could get an appointment, something happened. Last week I started feeling sick. I knew immediately I'm pregnant. And I'm devastated and in denial. I haven't even talked with my husband yet. I know he would be over the moon and would leave me and take the kids if I ended the pregnancy. I really don't want another child, and being depressed makes me paranoid and got me thinking maybe he sabotaged the condoms, as he said he even considered leaving me if he didn't get a third.

I'm at loss at what to do. Everything feels awful. I also know I will probably be fine once the child is born, it will be loved and cared for. I'm planning to call my ob to talk my feelings through before talking to my husband, but it feels like I'm cheating and lying by doing so.