Before anyone says “if you can’t stand it then get your own place” please just hold it because I know. Me and my bf are trying to save up and get a house, and if we move into our own apartment now, it’s will just prolong the saving process. Rent is 600 with utilities included right now, and it’s perfect for the both of us to save the majority of our pay.

If you don’t feel like reading , my question is how do I ask for help cleaning / being more considerate of everyone’s boundaries without sounding like a controlling bitch?

We lived with 2 other people. They weren’t the best people, one of them was struggling with heroin addiction all year and trying to make sure they stay sober was difficult, the other roomate is a drunk. They both never cleaned and it was left to my bf and I. They always ate our food, blasted music all hours of the night. They each had cats that had VERY neglected litter boxes/didn’t always get fed so me and my bf had to do a lot of caring for them.

Long story short, the drunk roomate accused the addict of stealing $100-300 and he got kicked out. I know that’s not true because I was at home with him all day. The drunk roomate wanted his friend to move in, which he had come over plenty before and he seemed ok so I didn’t think it would be an issue if he was our new roomate.

WHOLE thing was super messy. And I felt so bad because it was an obvious set up. He would come over and say how much nice furniture he has, all this stuff to persuade us that he’s a good roomate. He’s been friends with the drunk for 14+ years. So Ofcourse he wanted to move in.

No one said anything about his gf also moving in, PLUS a cat (now there’s 3 cats, and 5 people living in one level of a sister house) that’s way too much. He didn’t have ANY furniture. They brought two 6ft cat towers which we don’t have room for and they put one right by the dining room table/kitchen. He brought WAY too many things knowing how much room we had available and me and my bf even made space in the attic to put some of our things so they would have room. It’s been over a month and they still have boxes everywhere. Have completely turned the living room into like their bedroom, me and my bf only hang out in our room because they drink to EXCESS everynight, roll giant joints and only smoke them halfway. Leave food and beer cans all over. They have been eating my food and won’t replace it. They drank a lot of our coffee because ours was opened and theirs wasn’t. When I cleaned the house a week after they moved in it was disgusting. I vacuumed under the couch cushions and it was like cleaning a toddlers car seat out. I couldn’t believe how much food they dropped in between. They haven’t cleaned ONCE since they have been here. They blast music and the tv all night. And last night they got wasted and the gf threw up all over the couch, carpet, hallway, WALLS, and bathroom floor, AND SHOWER CURTAIN. And the left a lot of it there until today. Like how do they think that’s okay.

I know I can be anal and over the top with my cleanliness because I have been diagnosed with ocd, but I am able to rationalize what a normal person considers clean and they fall far beneath that.

The guy also makes snarky comments and is a one upper, he’s a super loud talker, and never shuts up. I have never liked him personality wise but the fact he is an aid for autistic children, owns some of my respect because that’s not always easy and you have to be a good person to enjoy it. However he is completely annoying. I hate being around him. His gf is in the same line of work, I thought they both would be more mature than they are but she acts like a baby, and it doesn’t help that he is EXTREMELY verbally abusive to her. I have been in abusive relationships but to hear how he talks to her is so degrading and shocking to me. He will straight up talk about his ex for 10+ minutes multi times a week right in front of her and it’s super awkward and I feel bad for her.

They are right next to our room and it’s hard to ever relax. The guy will literally knock on our door a couple times a day and barge in 2-3 seconds after knocking, before anyone even has the chance to say come in, he’s caught me getting dressed by that once, and it’s to show me dumb things like a rock he found at the beach when he was 12 or something small, it’s never for anything important.

They’re all in their early 30’s and have no consideration for anyone else. They party every single night as if they’re teenagers that snuck out of their parents house to drink alcohol for the first time. He took a light bulb out of a family lamp my bf was given and put in one that has Bluetooth controls so they can make the room rainbow colors and they have it on strobe when they drink. Didn’t even ask just completely changed whatever they wanted for their benefit. He “accidentally” broke a paper towel holder I bought that was screwed into the wall and put his up 30 minutes later. Like he had to have broken it on purpose because no one has ever had an issue with it. There’s so much more but this is long enough. I get that they both are friends with our other roomate but I am not their friends, I do not want to share everything like food/ laundry detergent. Some things, like paper towels and toilet paper we will all share but this is not a family and just because we all live in the same house doesn’t mean what’s mine is yours. I wish they would help clean. I cleaned the house Wednesday and by Friday there is ash, food and cat hair galore all over the place. They have no boundaries and I don’t know how to address these things without coming across as controlling. I am trying to not let little things bother me so much but it’s so hard.