I don't know what to do to help my husband.
I'm at a complete loss and tearing up as I write them, but I don't know what to do to help my husband. He's 34, Im 25. We've been together for 6 yrs and things just aren't getting any easier. He has MDD, PTSD, anxiety, addictions and so much more. He's never had a good relationship with his parents, nor anyone really. We have a 4.5 yr old and their relationship is turbulent. She is a smart girl, but manipulative and can have a nasty attitude. He's been telling me months now that he doesn't think he's cut out to be a dad (I know this is his anxiety and insecurities) and that he doesn't feel like he has anything positive to offer her, and that it's difficult to be around her. He does lose his temper occasionally and snaps by yelling at her when she is just being too much. He said he just wants the guilt of being snappy and a shit dad to go away, he says he's hurting her and that his conditions are worsening with her. Im with our daughter most of the days and the days are just unpredictable, its like we'll have an awesome day or it can be a shit day where her overall score for the day is like a 3/10. I know how kids can be and I try to remind him but he's telling me for the first time in 7 yrs, he wants to start cutting again. I suggested getting himself checked in and gets turned to "if you want me out of your life just say so" and Im fuming bc HE'S the one who keeps saying he can't handle our life anymore. Its like whatever I say Im "contradicting" myself or "not helpful" and Im FEELING LOST. I ask him that there's nothing I can offer him and clearly not helping and I can just walk away. He insults me by calling me "un compassionate cunt" because he just wants to be heard. How can I just hear that my husband and daughter's relationship might go into deeper shit and not try to offer some help? I honestly feel like Im drowning and this isn't the first time he's insulted me like that. I feel useless and miserable.
Edit: I originally wrote that she had nothing offer him, that's not what he said. I was crying and thats how his sentence felt to me, but thats not what he said. It's just difficult for him to have her around when she screeches for any little thing.
I probably will head to my moms house for a couple of weeks because I feel lost and that space is needed. He definitely has so much to work through. I didnt know that he had all this trauma, not at this depth until after we had our child, but thats how it usually goes, right?
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