My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we have definitely been through a LOT together. We got together when he was 19 and I was 16 and we connected instantly. Everyone around us said they thought we reminded them of an old couple who had been together for decades.

But I’d be lying if I said our relationship wasn’t toxic at some times. He has bipolar, PTSD, ADHD, and anxiety (the bipolar was recently diagnosed) & when I met him, he wasn’t taking the best care of himself. He didn’t go to therapist appointments consistently, would go off meds commonly bc he’d run out, he struggled to communicate, he wasn’t good with self-care.

We’ve had patches where we fought a lot. He called me out of my name once. We’ve also had a few times where he broke up with me for no reason (when he would go off of meds) and then we’d get back together right away. He would tell me he loves me but he was freaked out but would always come back. These were all things that happened probably 2 years ago now. I think the worst that’s happened recently is we almost broke up when we were growing apart but we rekindled our relationship.

His grandfather passed away, he got a car, got his gun license, all within a month, and he says it’s really changed his thinking process. Then the next month, I found out I was pregnant.

I stayed (obviously) and now I’m 30 weeks pregnant. I feel like it was the right choice bc everything seems better now. He’s more on top of his appointments and meds, he’s working on self hygiene, we communicate better, he’s worked on his anger issues, we got a LOT closer, our sex life is AMAZINGGGG. And, even through our bad times, he was the only one that was truly there for me. I’m happy with him.

But I ended up seeing his ex in my “suggested” list and accidentally pressed “add friend”. I unsent it right away but she still wrote a long paragraph about how toxic he is. I don’t believe a lot of it (at least) bc she lied about her age to make him seem like a creep (tried to say she was only 16 and he was 22 but he’s 22 now and they dated 5 yrs ago). I just left it on read and she messaged me again saying “trust him if you want to but you’ll look dumb when you realize I’m right”.

It only made me think bc of our past. I feel like I’m making the right choice but I’m so scared of raising my baby in a toxic relationship bc that’s what I grew up in and it messed me up so bad 😢