Breastfeeding

Soooo I hate it and he hates latching and I told myself before he was born I wouldn’t beat myself up if it didn’t work out . So I introduced formula and he likes it and it’s easier for both of us but the guilt is still there . I’ve been pumping and giving it to him with the bottle and then During the night he gets formula but I still feel guilty for trying to go to strictly formula . I know fed is best but it still makes me feel like poo . I love the bond of being able to give him nutrients straight from my body but mentally it doesn’t affect me well . Anyone else dealing with this ?