So for the last 3 months or so I have been really paranoid about being pregnant. My boyfriend and I don’t always make the best choices in the moment because of my latex allergy. We switched to skyn and that helps but you know things get hot and next thing you know it (cares out the window) We have taken text and been relieved when it wasn’t positive but with all the talk of it we both agreed if it happens we are gonna be blessed and grateful. Sooooo after the first test we got carried away and subconsciously I think we were trying to have a baby. We went hard for like 2 week around Christmas time. I then again took a test and we were talked about it, how it was bad timing but we would be ok. Now January happened and I been on birth control since the last time we took a test. I got paranoid again because I haven’t taken birth control in 10 years and well I took a text yet again to make sure I wasn’t pregnant... I’m not. Part of me is kinda disappointed. Part of me thinks I’m stupid and insane for this. I’m 26 years old tho and I know my time will come when it won’t be so easy but i wonder if I’m just not capable of having a baby. Yes I’m no bc now but the fact that it didn’t happen on December shocks me. I’m grateful because it would have been bad but I part of me still wonders about the what if’s. I think it’s female hormones making me so emotional about it. It just scares me to think maybe i won’t be able to carry a child one day. But gods timing is everything and I have faith.