How to function as a married couple while on different schedule?

Question

So my husband and I have always been working on the same schedule, mostly nights, so we would stay up late and sleep in the next day. Well since September I’ve been at 9-5 job, now I’m at 8-4 and I have to get up at 6:30 to get ready. He works from 4pm-12am, so now we are on totally different schedules. We both have weekends off. I used to stay up just to see him but I can’t do it anymore, my body is suffering and I’m like zombie all day, sex life is suffering, he tries to wake me up and it just pisses me off because I’m so tired. How do you guys do it?

Answer

Try to get on a different shift, this was a problem in one of my relationships because like you I was always tired! If this is a short term thing then try and spend the weekend together, if it's a long term thing yeah get on a different shift.

Answer

My fiancé and I have dealt with opposite schedules at various points throughout our relationship. Now it’s looking to be a long term thing at least for the next few years, with him on nights and me on days. The important thing for us has been learning quality over quantity. Realistically on days we both work, we only see each other for a few hours if that. Now he tries to get up a bit earlier so we can see each other and have breakfast/dinner together before he leaves for work, and on his days off I’ll try to stay up a bit later so we can hang out before I have to go to sleep. Often times we’ll cuddle up and watch a movie or read until I fall asleep on him and then he’ll get up and turn off the lights so I can sleep and go about his day off. It at least gives us time together where we can still be close and talk. We text as often as we can too (which still isn’t too much but hey). 
It’s also about learned to communicate better. With limited time together it’s so much more important to communicate clearly and well with each other. I remember last year, shortly after my fiancé had started working the opposite shift, and we were still learning the ropes (we still are tbh but getting better - I think it’s always a work in progress). We both had a long weekend off around a holiday, and I assumed we’d be spending it together. Some of his friends from out of town I guess asked if he was free though and as we didn’t have set plans, so he said yeah, and suddenly we had house guests for the entire weekend I’d anticipated us spending good quality time together. I was really upset with him as he hadn’t even talked to me about it first - it wasn’t that I minded us having guests or him seeing his friends, it was just that we hadn’t had that much time together in so long and it was like he didn’t even consider that I might not want to do that or maybe we’d be able to have 1 on 1 time. 
So now we always run plans by the other first. We also set aside time, even if it’s just once a month for a date night, and are trying to do at least one vacation a year. Then it’s just the little moments. 
Idk what your sex life is like, but if you used to be the type who always had it in bed before going to sleep or when waking up, you’re likely going to have to change that up as that’s just not your schedule anymore. It did hinder our sex life to an extent - like having sex daily just isn’t practical, but typically we still try to make it happen at least 2-3 times a week. It’s just a matter of making the time for it and honestly sometimes planning it ahead of time helps.

How to function as a married couple while on different schedule?

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