I had hyperemisis with my first pregnancy, again with my third. I’m pregnant with my fourth and can barely keep sips of water down so it looks like we’re heading down the same path this time. Any mention of food sends me to the bathroom to hug the toilet. Trying to make meals for the kids is impossible, we’re on cold foods. Dad will make meals but the smell has me in the bathroom for hours. I have zofran and I feel like it’s doing next to nothing.

Here’s the trigger and if you don’t like what I have to say, please just move on, because you’ve obviously not experienced this repeatedly to the degree I have if you can’t understand why I feel this way -

I’m only 6 weeks and it’s making me depressed to the point that I don’t even want to continue with the pregnancy. My third and fourth will be 2 years apart and I don’t feel like I’ve even recovered from my third yet. I never got my weight back up. We were actively preventing, at least for another year to make sure I was in good health, possibly permanently.

I’m just feeling so hopeless right now that I really don’t know how I can go through months and months of this again. And I’m angry that I can’t just have a normal peaceful pregnancy. I want this baby so much but feel like this pregnancy is going to break me. I puke and cry then puke some more because the taste of my salty tears gags me.

Please don’t tell me “it’ll be worth it in the end!” because I’ve been through it, I love my kids, but I hated how I had to suffer to bring them here.