Choking 1st time

Hello! This is long sorry...

My boyfriend and I have a great sex life(been together for 5 years). I love it! Some weeks we do it everyday multiple times a day other weeks just once or twice. This is a good week 😈Well start with Monday then get to the choking.....

Monday I met him for lunch at work. I told him I had a surprise so when I picked him up we took a ride to a park up the street and smoked and talked for a few minutes. Before I left the house I took the stroller out of the back of my van, put the back seats down and laid blankets and a pillow down. We like to keep things interesting so I figured why not surprise him with a nice little quickie on his lunch break. We had never had sex in the van before(other cars but not the van)so I figured if no one was in the parking lot we were good to go😈it was also Monday at 12:00 and only 20 degrees out so no one was going to be playing at the park/tennis courts. It was amazing! At first I was constantly looking around to make sure no one pulled in and wasn’t really focusing on how great it was then I think it just forgot or didn’t care and closed my eyes. OMG💦 Hearing him moan and feeling him fuck me as hard as he was, was amazing. He loves fucking me from behind and just feeling how hard he was inside me drove me crazy. We’ve been having great sex lately and I love it. I had a hysterectomy in November and was so worried it would change things but between not being able to have sex for 12 weeks and now finally being able to we are making up for it! We’ve been having great sex all week. Yesterday I met him for lunch again and we went to the same park and just smoked again and talked. He touched me and rubbed my pussy a few times while we were talking but I told him we were going to wait til later because I wanted to play a game with him. Well later to him meant when he got home from work. He started kissing me and rubbing his hard dick on me but I told him no and walked away....after rubbing my bum against his hard dick through his pants of course. I told him we needed to go pick up the boys from daycare and we’ll play later like I told him earlier. Now this was a game for him😂 he tried grabbing me and pulling my pants down so he could rub my bum and play with it like he always does but it always turns into sex and I know that so I put up a fight and did whatever I could to keep his fingers and dick out of me. Obviously after a few minutes I gave in because who wouldn’t want their boyfriend inside them in any way possible. We fucked for about 10 minutes and I had already cum twice. Then he whispers to me while still pounding me “I won this little game” and I told him “no you didn’t I let you fuck me if i didn’t want you inside me you wouldn’t be”. Then he started fucking me faster. He was hitting my g-spot perfectly I thought I was about to squirt, I was moaning so loud. Then he pulled his dick out of me and walked away. Saying to me “you want to play games? Sorry we have to go get the boys now”.....sooo safe to say he won that one😂

A few minutes later after he calmed himself down he laid on the bed and I jumped on top of him rubbing my pussy on his dick. I grabbed him by the neck and pretended to choke him saying “ok you win that one”. He said “Oh yea baby! You want to choke me?! Do you like that?!” I told him I’ve never done it before and didn’t know so he took my hand and put it on his throat. I didn’t even know how to do it or the right way or if there was a wrong way. He told me to push and if he wanted me to stop he would tap my butt with his hand 3 times. I did it and after a little while he tapped me. I asked what it felt like and he said he didn’t know if he liked it or not and we just kind of got up, got dressed and went to daycare to grab our boys 🤷🏻‍♀️ We got home and spent time with our boys and did our normal night time routine teased each other off and on knowing what was coming later . We got the boys ready and in bed and it was on. We smoked like we usually do then it was play time for mommy and daddy😈 We didn’t end up playing our game that I wanted to play because we just went at it. I gave him head for a little while then he pulled me on top of him and I started riding him. I love being on top because he has a huge dick and goes so deep it hit’s every spot. While riding him he grabbed my wrist kind of hard and put my hand around his throat. He wanted me to choke him. At first it was hot we were in the middle of fucking and I liked that he wanted to try something new I also love when he gets a little rough and takes control. He trusted me to do this and wanted it during sex. It was hot and I liked feeling the control. Then I got wicked upset and almost started crying. I didn’t want to hurt him, I could feel the bones or whatever I was crushing in his throat/neck and it scared me. I never pushed hard enough for him to stop or even have a hard time breathing he was still moaning and I could feel him breathing under me. I only did it for a few minutes then had to stop. Does this usually happen? After that we just went back to fucking deep and hard. Then we were grinding into each other as hard as we could he couldn’t get any deeper inside me. He knows just how to move inside me to hit my g-spot perfectly. I came so hard again. Then he came so hard and long I’ve never heard him moan so loud and so much. He said he didn’t really know how to feel I don’t think it made either one of us more into what we were doing but also we didn’t hate it. I don’t even know if we did it right or if there’s a right way I just don’t want to hurt him. Tell me what you guys like or how you do it? I don’t mind trying again as long as I know what I’m doing. I have PTSD from an abusive EX so having anything around my neck sends me into an anxiety attack so I’m not sure if that had to do with any of my feelings while doing it? Give me suggestions! If you read the whole thing thanks! I know it was kind of long but I’ve been thinking about it all morning and I’m not sure how I feel🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️