Huge fight

This morning my husband woke up in a terrible mood which woke me up. He then accused me of falling asleep on the couch go avoid giving him a handjob. I fell asleep on the couch watching tv after taking Tylenol PM. Not intentional. So then we got into an even bigger fight. His dad passed a year ago on thanksgiving. Then our son passed at 20 weeks and I delivered him on 10/9. So he lost his son and father in one year. He hasn't talke about it much so I knew he would blow. 
Well this argument resulted in him telling me I'm the reason for everything bad in his life. I caused our son to die. I never wanted him but I only wanted a baby and I couldn't even do that right. 
I packed a bag and left to go to my moms for a few days. I just need a break. Add in that I'm pregnant so soon after losing my son. I'm already an emotional wreck. I am beyond overwhelmed. I can't even describe my everyday struggle at this point. 
I haven't decided what I am going to do yet. Counseling is the only way I'm going back home. I feel like our first year has been incredibly hard so I want to give him a chance to make our second year better but I can't keep going like this... 
I don't want judgements I just needed to vent. 
He has never put his hands on me and I love my husband very much. It's just been an overwhelming 6 months