My husband hit me for the first time today. We were having a discussion about where we wanted to buy a house. I’ve told him from the very beginning, back to when we first started dating back in 2008 that there were certain places I absolutely did not want to live for personal reasons. From the jump he agreed! Well, just a couple of years ago he’s decided that we wants to live in that particular area because it’s closer to his family. I completely understand that he wants to be close to his family. His mom, grandma, and aunt live two hours away from us. He rarely talks or see them. My family is extremely close to us. Our daughter has special needs, and up until this point I wanted another child (don’t think that’s happening now) so I wanted/need all the help I can get. I told him that it wasn’t fair to just up and change his mind about where we agreed to live. We decided this even before we got married and had our daughter. He kept telling me to be open-minded. I said okay, we can move out of the area we’re currently renting, he doesn’t like it here, so I said we can find somewhere else to buy a house. I even agreed on some other areas that’s a bit closer to where he wants to be, but he’s so convinced that I would eventually go to the area that I hate. That area has poor school districts and the neighborhoods aren’t the safest. For some reason he thinks we will be fine.

Well....the conversation got heated. I made it clear that I wasn’t moving to that side of town, so don’t get mad at me when we’re ready to buy. He kept talking over me so I raised my voice a little, and I mean just a little! He got mad because I raised my voice and he smacked what I was holding out of my hand and onto the floor. In the process he ended up slapping my hand so hard it stung for a bit.

I know most of you will think “he didn’t really put his hands on her,” But in my eyes he did. I was scared to move. I’m locked in our bedroom now. I may seem dramatic to some of you, but after 12 years of being together, and 5 years married he’s NEVER even came close to hitting me. It makes me wonder if it could possibly get worse.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to be around him. He’s always been the one who hates it when a man hits a woman. He threatened my cousin because he used to his wife. I’m extremely close to leaving.

What would you do?

Update: Thank you everyone. I’m not making any decisions just yet. I’m waiting until I calm down. It’s been a whole 24hrs and he has yet to apologize. He brought me breakfast this morning. It’s one of his ways of apologizing, but I want a verbal apology. He slept on the couch last night. I think I may have said 3-4 words to him. I know this was a one time thing in 12 years, but I’ve watched my mom deal with abuse since I was 13. I’ll be 30 this year.....

Update 2: Well, he apologized on Sunday. I had to initiate it. He claims that’s his way of getting me to listen. We have been speaking, but I’m still not 100%. The fact that I had to initiate it says a lot to me. Makes me wonder if it’s genuine. I haven’t made any final decisions yet, but from here on out I’m going to start saving, so if this happens again I’m packing my shit and leaving.

Thanks again.