My husband and I got in a small disagreement yesterday evening. He was in a bad mood when he got home from work and he got back an hour earlier than normal. I work from home because of covid and my work day was still going on. He came home and told me he wanted to take a trip to the lake this weekend ( he had mentioned it a couple of times this week and I agreed) but said if we were going to go in the morning I needed to get stuff ready right that second. I told him I was still working and we had plenty of time to get things together since we are leaving tomorrow morning and it’s only 2pm. He then got pissed that I didn’t stop working to pack up the car right that second to get ready to go and told me clearly I didn’t want to leave that night (which was never discussed) and he no longer wants to go because it’s too late to pack up thr car and it’s impossible to be ready for the morning. He said this at 3pm. I’m insanely confused at this point. I kept working (because I had no choice) and he was so pissed about that I still wasn’t packing he started drinking tequila straight from the bottle. He invited his brother over for a while and his brother stayed for about an hour and had a beer before saying he had to go home to his wife and kids because he could clearly see my husband just wanted to get black out drunk. My husband keeps drinking for two hours. Straight from the bottle. He has downed half the bottle at this point so I hide it. He then finds it, he gets even more pissed off at me and keeps drinking. I’m now done working and keeping an eye on him so he doesn’t hurt himself. While he’s drinking he’s telling me how he’s never going to be happy, I will never love the things he loves and his life sucks now because he’s married and has to work for a living and has responsibilities. Yelling that he wants to be a billionaire because their lives are so easy. He tells me his friends wives are all cooler than me and down to do whatever but I always have an excuse not to go have fun with him (which is ridiculous because I always go along with him to go do whatever he wants).

Things escalate further and I go to the bathroom to pee and when I come out, I see the front door is wide open and he’s gone. We live in an apartment complex so I’m searching everywhere and eventually find him in his car at the wheel with his head laying down on the steering wheel. All the neighbors are staring at this point so after 10 minutes I finally get his keys from him and get him inside where he goes and lies on the bathroom floor because obviously he’s sick from drinking 3/4 of a bottle of tequila alone. I go to the kitchen and get him some water and I come back and give it to him as he’s sitting on the toilet and he smashes his head into the wall leaving a hole there and tells me he did it because I was staring at him and made him mad?!

I leave the water and go lie down in the guest room, crying at this point, with the door open to keep an eye on him and I stay there all night.

This morning he wakes up, visibly still upset with me for who knows what reason. He finds his keys and leaves without saying a single word. He left his phone and wallet behind in a place I could see it so I know I can’t contact him. I go to look for my car keys to leave because I’m so sick of his shit and can’t find them anywhere. So that’s where I’m at right now. Searching for my keys to leave and thinking he has probably hidden them or taken them with him to spite me. I also moved cross country with him two years ago and I have know absolutely no one close to me. He’s now been gone 7 hours. I’m shattered today and all I can think is what is so wrong with me that I get treated this way for no reason? What could I have possibly done to deserve any of this?