soothe my anxiety 🥴

Bella • hi

aight so... me (17) and my bf (18) have been dating for a year n half how. we’ve had sex a couple times already, but these last couple times i’ve had to call it early cus i’ll end up getting super hurt and irritated just at the entrance of my vagina. my obgyn says to just start using lube so i was like bet sounds good. this last time, which was just after seeing my obgyn about it, i saw my boyfriend and we tried to have sex. bitch hurt like a mf, at least getting it in did. not like burning or anything, but like having to get adjusted his dick inside me hurting yknow. we didn’t have lube yet so that was also a factor. he ended up stopping cus he pulled out after feeling something was ‘there.’ he looked at the condom and sort of examined it and had come to the determination there was blood on it and that he had made me bleed. he was suspicious that the condom had broke up until he saw the blood.

now i’ve had sex before, back as far as when i was 15. i’ve never bled before during sex and not till these past couple times i had sex with my current boyfriend did i start feeling irritation. when we had sex before hand, i always felt fine. i’ve only had two sexual partners, the first one being when i was 15 and he had no STI’s, i know so cus i got tested right after. with this boyfriend, he’s never had sex with anyone before me. so the ruling of STI’s causing my bleeding and irritation is out.

but now onto my question of periods. i’m real bad about logging my periods lmfao. they’re pretty damn normal, casual 28 days, 3-4 days of bleeding, and so on. after having sex with my boyfriend, i spotted pretty consistently right after, mainly brown blood almost. i figured it was my body just flushing around blood that he had made me had. after this, i tried to estimate all the times i had my period and logged them into <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a>. after that, it now says my period is late (by only 2 days but 😔) so ofc, i’m overthinking. 🥴 he hadn’t came inside me and it hadn’t even been 2 minutes of slow... slow sex for me to try to get comfortable. but what’s the chances of me being pregnant 🤢 if the condom were to fail? AND.... do i really just need lube in order to stop the irritation or like..... does kitty need something else cus i would appreciate normal sex again 🙃

also uh my parents know i’m sexually active and have no issue supporting me! i talked to my mom about how i get irritated during sex and wanted to go to the obgyn and she took me. i’m not tryna walk up to her like “🧍‍♀️ hey mommy my coochie weird” all the time tho y’know

so anyway soothe my anxiety wtf is going on more experienced peeps