I am engaged to my baby’s father. We struggle with a power imbalance in our relationship so he emotionally abuses me.

I have a college degree and work full time. He does not have a degree and works part time manual labor. I make nearly 3x what he does. No problem. I’m a modern woman; I’ve never tried to make him feel less than me. A degree and good job does not equal greater intelligence.

I also pay for 100% of our bills, aside from electricity. I also pay for all of our baby’s supplies. He bought a lot of stuff when I was pregnant but now he can’t even be bothered to pick up one can of formula.

He does not cook or clean, I do. He always claims to be too tired from work to cook or clean. My job apparently “doesn’t count” because it is not manual labor.

Additionally, he is “too tired” to help care for our baby. The only time he is a father, is when she is happy and easy. The minute she fusses, he passed her to me and goes straight onto his video game for hours. He ignores us both.

Lastly, he’s not emotionally there and when he is, it’s abusive. Tonight my baby was crawling around the living room while I was cleaning (he was on his game of course, like always) and she got into some air freshener. I panicked and decided to take her to the hospital in case she ingested it.

Well he abused me. He told me I’m a horrible parent, a worthless woman, and when I cried he said “good, keep crying. I have no sympathy for you. You’re sloppy and lazy for leaving her on the floor and now you probably killed out baby.”

He wouldn’t go with me to the hospital. I called him crying while I waited for the doctor and he told me he was “busy” and that I am “annoying as f**k” and hung up on me.

Thank god she is ok, but I seriously need to leave this relationship. My family is very unsupportive because their religious beliefs see me as a failure if I leave him (no matter what I say, even after times he has physically shoved me, they force me to stay) so I have no where to go. I can afford to live on my own but I don’t think he’ll actually leave unless I get police involved

Also, his job is under the table (illegal work) so I don’t think I can receive child support. He also is seriously addicted to pot and I’m scared if we split up, being alone with him would be dangerous for her (he has very shady friends, I think he would smoke pot around her and take her on drug deals, etc.).