I got pregnant pretty quickly after having my first while on BC and I knew I couldn’t have another one after having postpartum depression and the financial setback me and my husband would have. We are 20 with a baby and I didn’t want to be judged for being a young mom with 2 under 2 while we were not even living in our own home. I feel guilty for my first baby who has to live through our hardships now. If the conditions were right, I would have kept my pregnancy and I really, really wanted to. I was always pro choice but I was one of those women that said I would never have an abortion for myself... until it happened to me. I hate the idea that women who get abortions are heartless and it’s no big deal to us when it IS for some of us. I didn’t show any emotion for it because I believed that I couldn’t feel sad or mourn when I caused this. But I do feel like mourning and grieving and honoring that pregnancy. I think about them everyday and I don’t know if there is divinity but I really hope they come back to me. I don’t know when I will reach the point of peace in my life but I’m wondering if I’m not the only one who feels this way?