No matter what I do its not good enough, and no matter how I do it,I do it wrong. I feel misplaced and unwanted. I hate this position I put myself in. Im tired of being looked at as the pregnant teenage fuck up. Im tired of being reminded that I not only ruined my SO's life but im also bringing a baby into an unstable environment.

I don't feel like I have any support because the only true support I feel like I have is from my family not including his. I feel like everytime I turn my back, they look at me in duscust. They make jokes about how if I kept my legs closed I wouldn't have put myself or him in this position. They tell his little cousins to not be like me. And I get it being a teen parent isn't wise or ideal and its not what you wanted for your son. But there are other things about me that are good, and just an FYI I still have feelings and I hear every word you say and I do take it to heart.

I wanna be with my SO but I don't want to live here (with his family) anymore I want my mom. I want to feel wanted and loved and appreciated for the things I do. I dont want to feel disgusting. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to live here. I guess its because I thought his family was accepting. Because before I was a "knocked up 17 year old" they were fun to be around. They may have picked on me but I knew it was a joke when they did. But now they just see me as a "knocked up whore" who is ruining their son's life.