My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, we are in our early 20s. I have gained a significant amount of weight and have literally doubled in weight from when we first started dating and became obese (265lbs obese). Despite this, my boyfriend is always telling me I’m beautiful, and when I express discontentment with my weight he always tells me he loves me at any size. I feel that he’s not being honest because we haven’t had sex in over a year and he has erectile dysfunction issues.

I’m intermittent fasting and eating around 1200 calories/day. I have lost 50lbs in 5 months. Whenever I talk about it with my boyfriend he says I need to stop my diet for a few days, have a couple cheat days, eat more throughout the day etc. And his reasoning for this is because he says he’s worried about my health and that I’m not eating enough. He says I won’t be able to keep it off when I do lose weight because I’m not doing it healthily. He frequently buys me snacks & candy even when I ask him not to, which I don’t end up eating anyway because I’m determined to lose weight.

I am confused. On the one hand he hasn’t wanted sex in over a year. On the other hand he acts like he doesn’t want me to lose weight. Or he says he’s proud of me and then does something to sabotage it.

I would like to add that my boyfriend is skinny. He used to be overweight but lost it without trying due to being on Adderall for ADHD. I know that he likes “chubby” girls because I saw porn pictures that he looked at and all of the women were slightly chubby (not overweight, but not stick skinny either).

But I’m much heavier than those women, I was in the morbidly obese category before I lost 50 pounds, and I still have about 65lbs to go.

I’ve heard multiple explanations for why he might be doing this. Which does this sound like he’s doing?

A: he is genuinely worried I’m not eating enough because of intermittent fasting

B: trying to sabotage my weight loss because he is insecure that I will leave him once I get skinny

C: he really doesn’t want me to lose weight because he likes my body

D: he wants to use my weight as an excuse in his mind to not have sex with me or validate cheating

E: other