Long post ahead. Sorry in advance.

Hey ladies, so my husband and I have been trying for 2 1/2 years and we have not had any luck. I have had blood work done, and I just had an HSG test done last week, he is getting tested on the 15th. So far everything I good we’re just waiting in his test.

I also suffer from severe anxiety, and any medication I have tried makes me feel sick or I have put 20+ pounds on and it made my OCD worse. So needless to say, not being able to get pregnant and seeing constant negative results really makes it worse and tears me down. (I know, I’m not alone on that)

I know everyone has their own stress in their lives and I know that it can always be worse and others have it worse. But at times, I feel so hopeless.. I feel lost. Confused. Like my life doesn’t matter. All my stress from trying to find a different job, to paying my student loans and to top it off not being able to get pregnant just is so much to handle at times.

My husband has emphasised that even if we can’t have kids, he isn’t going anywhere (yes, I have asked a million times and probably will more because it’s a deep down fear of mine). I just feel like as a woman, that’s the one thing I should be able to do and I can’t even do that.

I just needed to vent. My best friend is against me having kids because she doesn’t want kids right now so I can’t talk to her because she doesn’t care. I can’t talk to my mom because it will be her first grandchild (when it happens one day) and I want that to be a surprise for her and my dad both! I just have no one to talk to who can relate and I really, REALLY needed to talk it out. This has a been a rough month. I’m asking for prayers and positive thoughts for guidance and patience.

Much love to you all❤️