so recently i ghosted a friend/not really for a week because i have just not been in a good place but also have in a way. ive been with someone who makes me very happy, and it just feels like i don't have time to worry about whether this friend is going to be dry with me or speak in a way that feels forced. i feel embarrassed that i messaged them to explain why ive been gone because i didn't get a reply - but realistically i did that to them for a whole week. i just didn't want to risk happiness like that after it being so sparse. i guess if i wasn't toxic, i wouldn't have to ask this. but idk. i feel bad but i also don't. im glad im happier but im terrified i made them unhappy, even though they make me unhappy. idk.