words of encouragement

i’m 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant. this pregnancy, all i have done is ask my boyfriend for the bare minimum. To consider my feelings and be respectful of me and our relationship. I’ve given him so many chances to treat me right, and yet i’m sitting here about to pop and he turns his phone off so i can’t get a hold of him just because i asked for 30 minutes of time with him when he got home from work before going to bed. That was too much to ask for, of course. I kept trying to call because maybe he just didn’t have service? eventually he was active and i called again and explained to him why that wasn’t okay, to which he responded with “it’s something was wrong or you went into labor you could just text my mom”. He was giving me backhanded apologies, and when i told him to give me a sincere one he acted like that was too much for him. I don’t know if i want to bring my baby into this world and give her the idea that that is what love looks like. I know for a fact my hormones are a lot to handle, especially because my anxiety got 10x worse when i became pregnant, and had no outlet to ease it (i used to smoke until i found out to help with my anxiety) but i feel like it’s not an excuse to treat someone the way he treats me. I even ask him, “what if you saw our daughters boyfriend treating her the way your treating me right now?” and all he says is “you and her are two different people it’s completely different” i’m just scared, he’s the only one working right now so that i can stay home and take care of the baby when she gets here, we’re living with my parents for the time being, and we haven’t had any extra money while getting ready for the baby to pay rent or groceries. My dad just told me that if he doesn’t man up and treat me right that he’s going to be getting kicked out. and i want, so badly to hold out hope for him because i love him and he’s the father of my child, for my hormones to ease a little bit and my anxiety to be worked out through therapy (which i’m starting after she’s born) and through medication. i just need to know i’m not crazy, and could use some words of encouragement about this 🥺 i’ve been feeling so bad about myself because of him for so long and i have no self esteem at all anymore.