When I was 4 1/2 my grandfather passed away. I had been told at the time that he had been in his car and there was an accident. I took it as told that he had a car accident and never questioned the truth about it. Had even brought it up over the years in conversation. I had been told he had gone through the windshield so they had a closed casket when I was a little older and it was talked about when I asked about the funeral. I am in my mid 30s now and was just told he had in fact been murdered, shot 6 times and left in his car on an access road this was not an accident. It was insinuated that he could have known the person, but is still not solved to this day. I guess the 5 millionth time I have mentioned it made my mom realize maybe they should tell the truth. I found an article about it that discussed the case over 10 years after it happened after she told me.

So when it comes to the way we explain death and complicated situations to a child, at what point would it be appropriate to explain the truth about a situation you sugar coated or lied about. Is there a time line, or age, or what? Would you have told the truth initially or would you have lied/withheld certain details as well? What would the right thing be in this type of situation.