I gave birth September 28,2020 so a little over 4 months ago.

The birth didn’t go as planned and in my opinion really traumatic. I fell asleep at 4am with pain so I got IV meds bc I was only 1cm snd having somewhat painful contractions. I woke up at 6am in full blown labor, dilated to a 9.5 and no time for the epidural (this was my biggest fear). I NEVER wanted to feel any of it.

But I did. I felt all of it. And he came out in 15 minutes. The nurses had to decide whether to save my lady parts from tearing or my butthole. They chose to save the lady parts so yep you guessed it. I tore all the way. I felt every needle (18 btw) to numb me so the doctor (who didn’t make it in time) could sew me up.

I never made my 8 week appt because I was afraid of anything going near my area.

I’m STILL afraid to have sex or have anything else near my area because of what I went through.

Is it normal to be like this months later?