My husband and I recently met with a RE from a local

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

clinic. (I had my colon removed in 2017 due to complications of Ulcerative Colitis - we knew we may need medical help to get pregnant, it came with the territory) She ordered all kinds of testing and then we would meet again after it was completed.

We went into the second meeting feeling excited to FINALLY get things going, to begin starting a family together. During the zoom call she said my husbands tests were normal. She said all of my tests were normal but the could see one of my tubes was dilated (what my previous OB saw as well).

This new dr said it didn’t look like a COMPLETE blockage so I could potentially get pregnant with that tube but could cause some tissues (ectopic). We knew this was coming and had done some research regarding a blocked tube. A lot of the information we got from her was very informative. We thought we were going to get some sort of care plan/timeline moving forward.

Then she starts talking about my weight and BMI. I understand I’m not the smallest person and I understand that if I could lose a little it definitely wouldn’t hurt me. You know dang well that she reviewed all the paper work from previous doctors and previous testing. So my weight wasn’t a surprise to her. But she still ordered all of the testing and agreed to make that follow up zoom meeting to “go over the tests and discuss next steps”.

But I was not expecting for her to say what she said. She told me that I was too overweight to do

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

, gave me the phone number to a bariatric clinic in the area and told me to give them a call. She said to call her back in a few month once I lost some weight.

I understand she is a doctor and it’s her job to make sure people are healthy. I get it. And I know I’m overweight and should lose some weight. I think what bothers me the most is that she knew all of this information up front and didn’t caution us about it being a potential issue, NOT ONCE! She still ordered all the testing.

I’m just frustrated because I feel like we have been going through this infertility journey and no one had said anything about needing to lose weight before we can doing

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

.

She actually suggested talking to the bariatric clinic and seeing about possibly getting the lap band surgery. Again, I know I’m overweight but I don’t know if lap band is the way to go. But I will call the clinic this week. I was reading online that after the lap band you could possibly be able to safely get pregnant in 2-3 years after everything had healed.

I’m not getting any younger. I’m currently 28 and hubby is 29. I’m just feeling very defeated, depressed and unworthy. We went into this appointment with high hopes that the process was going to start moving along and now it is just at a standstill.

After all we have gone through (and all the invasive testing), in a way I blame the doctor for even going through with ordering all of the testing and procedures knowing full well my past medical history as well as my weight.

I’ve spent the last couple days crying. I just needed to vent. I will call the bariatric clinic to see what they suggest. I will try to change my life style. Especially if that’s needed in order to have a healthy pregnancy and ultimately a health baby.

I just think she could have approached it in a different, more compassionate way. It has left me questioning my own self worth. Am I even good enough to be a parent someday?

I have done some more research and reached out to another

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

program in my state requesting and appointment. Hopefully they are a little more compassionate! I’m just feeling heartbroken.

EDIT: called facility back and spoke with nurse. JUST YESTERDAY I had a procedure on my back with anesthesia. (<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> dr said it would be an issue with anesthesia for egg retrieval) I got my weight taken and when I got home I did the math. It doesn’t match up AT ALL to what the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> facility was saying. I spoke with the nurse who said my heigh and weight was recorded at my last procedure. The height and weight she told me was NO WHERE NEAR ACCURATE! I told her the height and weight that was taken yesterday and she said she would add it to my chart. I told her if I were to proceed with their facility then I would prefer not to see that doctor and would like to see someone else. She said she would put a note in for a scheduler to look me. In the meantime I have also reached out to another local clinic to see about getting an appointment/second opinion with them.