Would you be upset??

Question

Ive been ignoring my boyfriend all day. I'm so upset with him. I've been with my boyfriend two years and he's never gotten me a gift for ANY holiday, even for our anniversary and christmas. He didn't even try to get me anything. He's always behind on bills & when he's not he buys things for himself or it's always me buying him things. I explained this to him not too long ago, I usually don't say anything because i'm not materialistic but it's kind of getting to me now. I see all these other women get showered with gifts from their man. Even a flower & a 2$ card would've been ok, but I received nothing. Do your man but you gifts?? If not do it bother you? i'm thinking about breaking up with him

Answer

Breaking up with someone because you don’t get gifts, is the definition of being materialistic. You don’t think you are, but you kinda are. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 
Communication is KEY in a relationship. Voices your concerns, your reasoning, your wants. If they don’t get met, then sure, break up with him. But you need to have a good, thorough talking. Some people don’t have gift giving as a top priority. Just talk it out with him first. 
As for my own relationship- we don’t do gifts besides Christmas. some times birthday. Birthday is usually just dinner and sex 😂 Our anniversary we just always go out for dinner.

Answer

I’m going to disagree with some of these ladies about the gifts. I personally know how you feel, my husband has gotten better but for me it’s not about the actual gift or the “material” aspect of it. For me it’s the effort, I want him to put in the effort. For me it could literally be anything but the idea of him going to a store and buying something because he knows I’ll like it or I want it, that’s what’s important to me. It’s about the effort and thought of him going out of his way not about the actual material part of the gift.

Answer

If he’s behind on his bills, it sounds like he doesn’t have a lot of extra money to spend in you. I sort of understand why you’re upset with him about it, but it would be crazy to break up with him for not getting you gifts. That seems like the definition of materialistic.

Answer

It doesn't even sound like the gift giving is the problem here. You're putting in thought and effort and he's doing him. It doesn't sound like he's being thoughtful or putting effort into your relationship. Buying a card is simple. Picking up flowers from the grocery store on the way home from work isn't hard. Hes choosing to spend the money he has left over on things only he can enjoy, that should tell you something right there.
On an unrelated note, his financial irresponsibility is concerning and you should reevaluate that about your relationship. Regardless of the amount of money he makes, if he's being a dope and blowing it on stupid shit thats still a problem. 
Talk to him, tell him you feel underappreciated and that you need some kind of effort. You've had two birthdays, two Christmases, two valentines days AND two anniversaries and he hasn't even gotten you a card?? Even if it was JUST cards for those occasions thats like $20 over TWO FUCKING YEARS. Figure out what you want and need from a partner and if he doesn't fit the bill then cut him loose and find someone who does, otherwise you're just accepting your lot in life with him. Life's too short to spend it with mediocre men.

Answer

If you're not materialistic then why write this post. You clearly are. Also quite shallow and selfish. You mention not ever having gifts and then in the next breath you mention he's behind on his bills. Well if he can't afford his bills then why would you even think of hoping for gifts? And when he does buy himself something is it from his own money? If so then where's the problem? This sounds very childish

Answer

It’s not about how much something costs, it’s the thought behind this. I had an ex like this- we were together 3 years by the end of it I felt so undeserving. I would constantly lend him money, then when he would get paid first thing he would do would buy something really expensive and not needed (eg a new wetsuit etc). I would get so mad because if I ever borrowed money repaying would be my priority. I’ve been with my husband now for 5 years who is the complete opposite, he would spend his last dollar on me. He’s so incredibly thoughtly, it’s not about the money spent but time and effort. I say if you don’t set your standards high this is what will happen!!

Answer

While yes I would be upset in your situation, breaking up with him for this reason is not good. As others has said, it's all a out communication. Perhaps the smallest of gestures from him is what you want from him; him showing you appreciation. 
It could be the small things, him bringing you food or candy, watching things together, etc. Gifts are optional but if he doesn't do anything that makes you feel appreciated then yes. A breakup is in order.
BUT!!! If he is trying after you talked to him about it, do give him a chance to see a change.

Answer

Your are being materialistic especially if you are going to break up with him over it. I have been with my partner about 3yrs and have gotten maybe 3 gifts. 
He does things like cook me dinner and have my favourite goodies in the house 
If he is behind on bills you definitely shouldnt be looking for gifts and stop buying him things

Answer

You need to communicate with him, maybe there is a valid reason he doesn’t buy gifts for holidays and you just need to ask him about it, and you need to communicate your feelings to him about not getting even small gifts, in a way that isn’t accusing.

Answer

Generally, we do gifts for occasions but we usually have a talk about it beforehand to decide what we want to do. Some times we have other priorities and sometimes we have the time/money to splurge

Would you be upset??

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