Rainbow Baby - Feeling distant

Corrine

Hi Mamas and future mamas out there,

I've had 5 miscarriages for the last 5 years. Recently me and my partner stopped trying, got engaged, and started planning a wedding.

Last month I got covid on the 11th and took a pregnancy test which at the time was negative. My period never showed up but I assumed it was because of the extra stress of planning a wedding and recently having covid. All through January to today I felt off so I finally took a pregnancy test last week and got 8 BFP. (I took mutiple. I was in shock and not sure how to feel).

Im so numb about the pregnancy like I can't even enjoy the joy without fear of loosing it or having to drastically change my life. I feel so ungrateful for trying for so long I just gave up the idea I could get past 7 weeks. According to the app I would be 9 weeks 1 day today but I am going to my first prenatal on Tuesday. Im so scared of the first sonogram.

Im getting really depressed over it and just feel doomed. Has anyone ever felt this way or know how to handle it?