Good morning ladies!

Happy Monday 😊

So I have a question and story for yall. My daughter's father had her for the weekend like usual when he actually shows up. Well this weekend he decided to bad mouth me to his girlfriend in front of my daughter because of an issue with her having an eczema rash on her arm. He has never taken care her to the doctor or helped with anything medically since she was born. The conversation according to my daughter who is 8 almost 9 went like this. He claimed that I didn't tell him about it and he has been waiting to see what happens and that I'm just too lazy to take her to get it checked out. An that I don't care about my daughter's health etc.

Now a little back story my husband and I have 2 additional children together. Meaning I have 3 kids. I take care of all of my kids and work. He is a weekend parent and a half ass one at that. My husband and I never talk about him in front of her unless it is about him coming to visit or pick her up. My husband has taken our daughter to more doctor's appointments and urgent care visits than her biological father has. She sees him as more of a dad than her actual father because he has done so much for her. My husband and I met when she was 2 1/2. Since day 1 my husband has been a loving and attentive dad to all of our children. Her father on the other hand has been very inconsistent since our split years ago. He has been what you call a weekend dad.

So back to my story all of this transpired while she was over this weekend mind you he didn't have her the full weekend like agreed upon. He had her for 1 day. He took her to urgent care Sunday called me demanding I give him her social security number. I said excuse me you should have that information but why do you need it at this very moment. He gets an attitude says I'm being difficult to whomever was in the background and demands I do what he said because he is at urgent care. Girl, I hung tf up after trying to ask more questions and getting no where. After the phone call he and I exchange text messages through the messenger app. It boiled down to him saying he got it and she is his daughter and he is taking care of it. I put the thumb up and didn't respond with anything further. I explained on the phone and through text she already had a doctor's appointment but here's my issue I don't tell him about this type of stuff beforehand because he doesn't listen and pretends after the fact he knew nothing of any issues or plans. It doesn't just apply to her health care but all aspects of her life.

For instance I'll tell him weeks in advance one of the children's birthdays are coming up and we have party plans etc. I offer and extra couple of days (almost always he says no to the extra time) with her so she can stay the weekend and celebrate with us. Right. I remind him every week leading up to said day. Well, that weekend comes and he is going on about how I'm trying to keep his daughter from him now and we never discussed any plans changing. (Side note : he does this in verse all the time, and last minute too)

Just so you know I make sure he agrees before hand I don't just say "hey we are taking this weekend". I try my best to come to a compromise with him. ( ultimately if he says no I send her) I have bent over backwards to try and make sure this little girl of mine can see her father.

Anyway so I find it very interesting that now suddenly he wants to be the take charge parent for this instance. An I feel very disrespected 1 by the phone call and 2 about him talking so negatively about me in front of my daughter when he is the shitty parent. I have never met the girlfriend and I believe it is because he is afraid the truth will come out about him. He claims he is going to marry this girl by the way. My daughter doesn't even like going over there unless the girlfriend is there because her father doesn't do anything with her. She asked me 2 months ago to stop making her go over there because she was done with him and wanted to change her last name to my husband's because she sees him as more of a father than her bio dad. I tried to do what I thought was right and I even went and talked to my father to help me figure things out with that situation. I ended up convincing my 8yr old to give him another shot. Every weekend it's something. The weekend before last I had to talk to him about having toilet paper in the his house for her to use. Like wth you are a grown man with a little girl. How do you not keep toilet paper in your house?

I think once I told him about her letter and her deciding she doesn't want to see him and that he needed to do better or he would lose her forever is when he started this I'm the best parent for her bs.

I'm fed up with this situation honestly. An I'm ready to stop sending her over but I don't want to do that because I understand how important our fathers are in our lives. Any advice for this fed up mom? Am I crazy? Am I being ridiculous?

I have way more info if yall need more to help understand the circumstances. Sorry for the long rant. 😅

I am only posting anonymously because I know the negative Nancy trolls will be looking for me on social media.