Yesterday I had a huge break through when it came to dealing with the emotional trauma my ex of 5 years ago put me though. I’m really proud of myself because I didn’t realize the full extent of how he still affected me until I talked to my best friend about the whole situation. He tried to blaming me for his cheating and playing of every women his been with on me. Always making everything my fault on top of putting me down constantly. I’ve had enough of letting him control even though I haven’t talked to him or seen him in 5 years. I forgive him for the way he treated me and I wish no ill will towards him, I don’t know what demons he fights. But Starting today I plan on taking my life back. I’m going to stop being afraid that my boyfriend of 3 and half years is going suddenly be that way or leave when we actively planning our future. I’m going to start loving the way I look and the way I dress and not be afraid to be who I am. I’m sorry if all of this is a lot but I needed to get it off my chest.