So, I had a party Saturday night. My husband was out of town for work and unfortunately missed the party, but we texted most of the night. I had about 6 other people over. My husband and I are very close friends with all 6 of them and we've all been to plenty of parties together. 2 of them, Jacob and Aly, are even in our wedding as a bridesmaid and a groomsman.

Occasionally the parties will get a bit rowdy and we'll all get to the point of drunk where sexual things come up. Nothing bad or uncomfortable has ever happened, it's just the way conversation usually goes. We're all very comfortable talking about inappropriate things with each other and we all know our boundaries. There's even a long-time joke that my husband and 2 of our other guy friends are "married" and whenever they see my husband and I kiss or get cute together, they'll fake gasp and say "Are you stealing my man??" And we'll all fake fight over him for a minute lmao. It's all in good fun and that's just our type of humor.

My husband has actually kissed a few of our guy friends at these parties. My husband and I are both openly bisexual. I usually enjoy seeing him kiss other men and even have a video saved that I look at sometimes. Every once in a while some of our other guy friends will kids too, and it gets a loud hilarious reaction from everyone else. We all use kissing as basically a party trick. I've even kissed my friend Aly a few times. She's the only other bisexual in our friend group- everyone else is straight. (That's why it's funny when everyone else kisses, because it's just for entertainment and no one honestly thinks anything weird about it)

Well, I've only ever kissed my friend Aly who is also a female. And my husband has only kissed other men.

At the party on Saturday, it came up that we were all figuring out who has kissed who, and who hasn't kissed. It became a competition to see who could kiss everyone first. At first I didn't participate because I didn't feel like kissing any of my male friends out of respect for my husband. But then I decided to text him and ask if it was okay since it was just a silly drunk competition. He told me it was fine. So I did end up kissing everyone there, and it became a running joke that now all of our friends have all kissed each other. And it was all pecks(At least from me) so it really wasn't anything bad. The party continued without any inappropriateness and everyone had a fun time. My friend Nate was goofing around with our friend Holden, chasing him around saying "Come on, you're the only one I haven't kissed you have to kiss me!" And Holden didn't want him to win so he was refusing to kiss him so he would be the only one who hasn't kissed everyone. It became another running joke all night.

We're all a very close-knit friend group. We all know and respect each other's boundaries and relationships and often have long emotional talks about how much we all love and respect each other, and we hope all our kids will be friends one day too. It's all really wholesome. We're all in our 20's and 30's, so some of us are planning on having kids very soon or already have them.

So I was talking with another friend who wasn't at the party and lives in another state. I was laughing and talking about how crazy the party got and how we all ended up kissing. He asked if my husband knew I kissed other guys, and I said of course. My friend got all quiet and awkward, and said it's not normal that a guy would let their wife kiss other people and be totally fine with it. He suggested maybe my husband cheated and this was his way of making it okay. I told him that was absolutely not the case. He relented, but still maintained the opinion that no normal person would ever be okay with letting their spouse kiss other people. I agreed with him, but told him that my husband and I are just secure in our relationship and to us it's not a big deal as long as we discuss it, which we did.

I talked to my husband when he got home later that day, and we discussed in depth what our boundaries are. He insisted that it was totally okay that I kissed my friends, especially since I asked first and told him the situation. He knows how our friends get. He also reminded me that he's kissed the same people before, so there's no reason I shouldn't be able to. I asked if it was worse that I kissed my GUY friends, and he said he really didn't mind since he knows them and he knows we have a solid loving relationship and there's nothing behind the kisses. It was a competition and wasn't anything serious. I felt better, and told him he's allowed to do the same thing as long as I know the other person and he tells me about it.

We've always had a very loving and honest relationship and we know each other's boundaries and respect each other. I'm very confident there's nothing malicious about our boundaries. We both agreed there's a huge difference between kissing and hugging friends, and emotional cheating/ doing sexual actions. Obviously with the latter not being okay.

So we feel like it's fine, but I'm kind of wondering how normal that is? Does anyone else have this kind of relationship with their spouse or let their spouse kiss other people depending on the situation? My friend kind of got in my head. He said that we're "too" close with our friends.

And no, we're not poly. We don't have open relationship, and neither of us are interested in 3ways or anything either.