How do you KNOW he’s the right one?

Question

Hi all, my boyfriend (almost 33M) and I (19F) have been together for a little over a year at this point. We met as stagehands and after almost a year of knowing each other finally got together. I know I love this man to the very bottom of my soul. And I know I’ll catch some opinions because of my age but I’ve thought I’ve been in ‘love before’ and I have actually been in love before, but this is on a completely cosmic level it feels. Every piece of us fits so perfectly well together from our interests, pet peeves, little quirks to our life experiences. He is legitimately my best friend on this planet and I am his. 
So what I’m getting at is, he brought up marriage during a very serious conversation we were having about two weeks ago and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I know I want to marry him and I know I can’t see myself with anyone else but him. But I’ve only seen very unhealthy relationships and never a marriage in my life, so idk if I’m making a good judgment call or if I’m just foolish. Please share stories of how you knew your partner was the ONE.

Answer

I’d say with that age gap, it’s far too early to consider marriage. He’s at a different stage in his life and has had more time to explore the world as an adult. Also, the brain isn’t finished developing until your mid-twenties. There’s nothing wrong with waiting. It doesn’t mean he’s not the one, it just means you’re being smart about your future. I knew my husband was the one probably early on, but we met when I was around your age, so we gave it time before making that decision. It just felt right.

Answer

I don’t think you need to know lots of people who have successful relationships to know whether or not YOUR relationship is the one for you. 
To me, it definitely is a feeling, like being with that person completes the jigsaw. It’s also choosing love every day of your relationship, respecting each other’s boundaries, and treating each other with respect and compassion. 
However, you are very, very young, and what concerns me is the age that you two met. From what I understand, you started dating when you were 18 but started talking the year previous when you were 17? Honestly that really does throw up some red flags. You’re both at very different stages of life. That doesn’t mean it can’t work, but I do think you need to tread carefully and keep your eyes open. Don’t let him rush you through a stage of your life where you should be getting to know yourself.

Answer

Age gap is definitely weary when you’re that young. But if you guys have been pretty good then that’s a good sign. But you still are a “child” in sense of mentality for the most part. I can just speak from experience that my mental maturity from age 19-24 has changed SIGNIFICANTLY. I would highly recommend not rushing. There is no need to rush. I’d wait at least until you turn 21 and are able to experience life in a different realm. People change, they grow and that’s okay. If we’re not growing as individuals, we’re not bettering ourselves. He is at a place it seems where he wants to settle down which is great, but is that something you want to do, get just get a little more life experience in before you do? I wouldn’t settle down personally until I’ve loved life a little bit and figured out who I am as a woman. He seems like a good guy from what you’re saying. And coming from toxic relationships pay attention to any red flags. What we chose to ignore in the beginning will be the reason you split in the end. Remember you can’t change people EVER at any age. And the first year is the honeymoon year. Look up a list of what you should discuss before getting married. Being with someone long term you have to practice healthy communication. Example- children timeline, if you even want them, finances, porn, all of the uncomfortable things to talk about along with realistic things as well. This will help you for sure. Premarital topics

Answer

You don’t have to question it you just know

Answer

I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 29. We have a 9 year age gap. Honestly do you. I felt that cosmic love when we started dating and let me tell you, it does not go away! It on out grows. Do what you feel is best for you and him! I was married by the time I was 21 and had my first daughter just before my 23rd birthday. We often look back and think did we rush? But honestly we can say we don’t regret a thingZ we don’t even think about our age gap. It’s not something that we always think about and no it won’t cause problems if you’re both grown up. Good luck! I wish you all the happiness in the world!

How do you KNOW he’s the right one?

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