I am super pregnant and high risk and disabled on top of being a stay at home mom.

Today was my breaking point. I cried over lunch.

My toddler has been a dream all day we even built a fort. I am just so exhausted. Up all night and contractions and my racing heart are wearing me out.

I just got done talking to my mom on the phone (she is newly paralyzed and used to be my extra help.) She was concerned that the husband has been working so much no fault of his but he works for a small company and COVID means their buisness is swamping them. That I have no extra help ever. I am doing it all alone. I had to admit I had no extra help as everyone has full time jobs.

Husband text saying he will most likely have to work another 48 hours this week (he has already worked 12.) I have heart appointments, toddler has shots, and I have a fetal heart medicine and NST, plus a obgyn appointment this week. I am just so drained.

As I am cutting up cucumbers I just broke down.

This is never how I thought being a stay at home mom would be. So lonely and exhausted. I remember when we were trying for my first and I wondered if my body could handle giving birth. My mom told me she would be my legs and she would help. Then she became paralyzed and here I am doing it alone.

We cannot afford child care we live to rural. I just am so exhausted.