Sorry ... this is a lot but I need some insight 🥺😣 I appreciate the feedback and advice in advance 💕 My baby is a little over a month old.

I love my in-laws and am getting closer with them but also need to get my groove down with having my baby and want that bonding. I'm not entirely comfortable being alone around them yet , it's just awkward and a lot of energy for me to deal with cuz I'm constantly hosting.

They came the week after we were discharged from a week of us being in the hospital experiencing a traumatic birth and some scares with baby. They were at our house inside when we showed up, made huge tornadoes of a mess all over (kitchen counters completely covered with junk and dishes , trash everywhere, tissues on the floor throughout the house, rearranged furniture to make a home office for the dad , used my private bathroom when they had their own and moved all my Perinial supplies which was sooo hard for me cuz it takes me like a freking hour to use the bathroom and I needed stuff handy). Had the tv so loud baby was crying and anytime I asked to turn it down politely they then played it same volume from their ipads.

Asked me to do all sorts of stuff like bring them wine and dinner. The dad was weird about my kitchen stuff and kept saying things were his. don't mean to be rude but they were very needy. They wanted to hold baby and be around her 24/7 and anytime I would ask to have her back they'd be like "oh just a little longer" and switch between the two of them more which made me feel like I missed out on crucial moments like getting breastfeeding down and some bonding of my own.

Fast forward to a couple weeks later here we are again and they wanna come back. They've texted and called multiple times and are really antsy about it. I've been feeling under the weather and my boyfriend is back at work.

I've been saying im wanting more help but am pretty selective about who I feel comfortable around with myself, baby and in my house with the pandemic.

I'm not ungrateful by any means but I deal with a lot of anxiety myself and sometimes it's hard socially if I'm not 100% comfortable with the people yet. I also feel more confident some days and feel like I just need to get my groove down without being interrupted. I'm just not ready to have them back yet and I feel guilty. It upsets my boyfriend and we've gotten into some tiff's about it even though ultimately he respects how I feel I don't like the stress around it. I don't know what to say or if I should just let them come back. The stress around it gets overwhelming for me and then I'm the one cleaning up after them and feeling like I need weeks to recharge after they leave cuz I'm so drained.