It’s sounds stupid but how do I express my hurt without turning it to anger?

Question

I know it sounds dumb but it’s how I’ve learned to express my hurt, any time my mom is hurt she turns violent, Yelling, screaming, slamming doors and throwing things.
I never knew it was an issue until my boyfriend brought it up tonight so what I am asking is how do I separate the two? How do I stop waiting till it turns to anger?😞

Answer

I know I’ll sound cliche but open communication is the key. As soon as you start feeling something let him know don’t wait till you want to explode.

Answer

It sounds like you should start expressing yourself more often, identifying and discussing you emotions, calmly and productively. 
You could even journal to help see what thoughts need to get out.
As far as dealing with anger itself, you can be angry, it is okay to be angry- but you learned some toxic behaviors from your mom. You can be angry, and not yell, throw things or do anything abusive or hurtful. Part of maturity is learning how to express emotions in healthy and productive ways. 
I had a hard time with anger for awhile too, but I recognized my behavior as unhealthy, and worked on learning to manage and cope with my feelings without lashing out, instead calmly explaining how I'm feeling, or sometimes it helps just to ask for space to cool down and think. 
A lot of my anger is because of attachment issues, and triggered- especially when hormonal- by being or feeling ignored. It doesn't even actually matter if I am being ignored, it's actually delusional a lot of the time 🙃 but it's like I'm re-living old wounds. 
I think you should explore what makes you angry, and work on dealing with that in a way that actually helps you, and is compassionate to your partner or others.
Good luck ^.^

It’s sounds stupid but how do I express my hurt without turning it to anger?

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