Would you be upset if husband watched porn when you’re home?

I’ve been asking my husband to initiate sex more often, as it seems like I usually am the one to start it. And when I do, it’s usually me pleasuring him and I’m not getting that reciprocated.

When we were home together I went to switch on a power cord that a lamp / his Apple Watch was connected too and saw the now playing app on his watch with the words “MILF talking to...” on it.

I feel hurt. I think it’s more because I see that after the fact I’ve asked him to initiate more with me. It comes off to me that he’d rather watch that then be intimate with me, his wife sitting under the same roof as him.

Would you be upset?

(Also, I’m not ignorant. I understand that men watch porn. I’m more upset that I’ve asked him to initiate more often, then when we are home together that’s what he goes to instead of me.)

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COMMENT (11)

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Posted at
I wouldn't be upset my husband was watching porn, I'd be upset he was watching porn while I'm sitting right there after telling him I was more intimacy. Its just disrespectful at that point.

Ki

Posted at
I’m not going to lie, I would feel like he wasn’t attracted to me anymore .. why watch porn if I’m right there? I think there’s a deeper discussion that needs to be had between you two.. especially since he’s no longer initiating sex? Like dude, do you even like me? That would mess with my self esteem, and it’s pretty selfish

A

Posted at
I would be. But my husband and I have a rule that neither of us ever watch porn. We’re not okay with bringing people other than us into the bedroom. We consider porn cheating, but that’s just us. Plus it makes me feel icky thinking about how many porn videos include underage and trafficked girls. I know not all do, but after hearing testimony of some girls who were trafficked and forced to do it, it makes me sad.

Ka

Posted at
I'm just going to assume he wanted to masturbate rather than have sex- they are different things with different associated feelings. And it seems like he is a bit lazy in bed, like he's more into his own pleasure, and doesn't bother trying to please you? That just sucks. I'd try to understand why he is acting that way, perhaps doesn't like the pressure involved with sex, or is tired or not as interested or even threatened by more intimacy? Not sure, these types of issues can be difficult to work through.

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Yes. And porn is weird. It always amazes me how many woman are okay with it.

L.

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I said no to the post because I don’t mind especially if I’m not in the mood but You need to talk to him about it. Like you said it’s the issue of him choosing porn over you so you have to address the problem straight on now.

To

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I mean he could be horny and not want sex. Idk sex is great but not a high priority in my relationship.

X

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Yes, but mainly bc we’ve talked about this. Idc about porn if things are good and I’m 110% satisfied with our sex life and the effort going into it. But if we’re not on the same page then I’m not happy bc I feel like he’s using porn as an outlet instead of actually addressing why our intimacy and sex life is off.

T

Posted at
These are two separate things.You’re allowed to want your husband to initiate sexual more often and to ask him to change how he interacts with you sexually if what he’s doing isn’t providing you with pleasure. And he’s allowed to watch porn. If he stops watching all porn that won’t automatically make him a better lover to you. I would focus on what you want from him. If you want him to intimate sex and do certain things that are pleasurable to you, focus on that. Not on the porn.

♈️

Posted at
Depends on timing. If I awake, available, down for it, etc. yeah, I’d be super annoyed if he resorted to porn over me. But if I’m asleep, he knows better than to wake me up. He can take his phone and do what he needs to do lol. Porn doesn’t bother me and it’s never been an issue in our relationship. I have always been the 1st option and that’s how I expect it to be.