I know it's normal to be a little anxious right now. After all, I know that sometime in the next week I will likely be pulling off a super human feat by delivering a baby into the world through a very narrow opening. 😳 But that's not what I'm anxious about. In fact, I've felt pretty confident this entire time that I can trust my body to do what needs to be done when the time comes. This whole pregnancy I've been more anxious about not being able to breastfeed the baby when she arrives than the thought of labor.

The last several weeks have been dominated by a rather frenetic energy. My husband and I both felt a strong urge to nest and tackle so many projects around the house to prepare for baby. Every day has been filled with productive tasks. I've never been more efficient. But then 2 days ago, I woke up with a calmness and a certainly that she could come at any moment, and we would be ready. It was a total shift in the go, go, go feeling. I knew this shift in energy could mean the home stretch for me and sure enough, my OB confirmed the next day at my appointment that I am now 2 cm dilated and the baby has dropped another 2 inches down so we are very close to the finish line. I am due on Monday and suspect she may arrive pretty close to her due date.

But because of this downshift, I wasn't running around like crazy and I finally had a chance to sit with my thoughts and be a little more introspective. And I began to panic about how much I will miss my life just they way it is. I've had a long time to get to know myself and I really love the person I've grown into. I'm not sure I'm ready to meet a whole new version of myself named "mommy." Because whether we like it or not, we will never be the same people after we become parents. I know that what I am sacrificing, I will get more than that back in the form of a life changing love I've never known. But I'm just scared that I will have to become an entirely different person. Is there a way to go through this life changing event and still hold onto some pieces of your identity? Anyone else experience this irrational fear or just me?