Okay so I could really use some advice here. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 10 years now. We bought a house 1,5 years ago. We've talked about starting ttc in maybe 2 years or so since we're both still focused on our career right now. I'm 28 and he's 30. And I have always been clear that I want to get married before we have kids.

But the fact that he hasn't proposed yet is driving me absolutely nuts. I want to be patient but I feel like I have been for so long already. I've told him that I would love for us to get married. Our relationship has grown so much, we've been through a lot together, and we both know we want to grow old together so I just want to be able to call this man my husband already. Everyone knows and most of the time our friends like to tease him a little. Our parents have often made it clear they're on board. My girl friends have had to deal with me going on about it when I had too much wine 🤦🏻‍♀️ but they support my view nonetheless.

One of our mutual friends recently told me she thinks it's a bit weird he hasn't proposed yet since apparently he was planning on doing so when we were on a holiday 2.5 years ago. This got into my head more than I'd like because I feel she's right. It is weird. What the flip is holding him back?

I've sat him down a few times and told him I don't want to pressure him but also feel like he knows how important it is to me, and if he doesn't want to get married, ever, he should at least tell me. It's not even about the wedding. I don't need a big ring either. He keeps saying it will happen someday. But I've been waiting so long. I'm tired of going through every vacation or anniversary secretly hoping he will propose only to be disappointed in the end. It has come to the point where I'm actually dreading our 10 year anniversary because

1) I don't actually want him to propose on that day because I would be expecting it and not be surprised at all and honestly I think by now I deserve to at least be caught off guard. I also think it's kinda cheesy especially since this man isn't the type to do romance in a typical way.

2) if that day passes without a proposal, honestly I don't know if I can stay in a relationship with someone who isn't on the same page about marriage and I hate to think like this because I can't imagine leaving him.

I am at a loss. I don't want this to be the thing that drives us apart. I can imagine I'm driving him crazy as well with this. I don't want to pressure him. But I also don't want to sit and wait. I could really use some different views on the matter!

Sorry for the long rant 😅